Return of the Jedi

While I am no Jedi Master, I am returning. February 1st will mark the end of my 12 week retreat in South America. As I stated in an earlier post, I came down here in order to take a break from the hectic world that surrounded me in Los Angeles, California. I wanted to dive deeper into my Zen practice and take some time to reflect on what conditioning I had been exposed to and how I can learn to live in a different relationship with that conditioning. Once I stripped away all the distractions of daily life, I was surprised to finally start to get to know my "self". Of course I am also open to the idea that there is no self.

The short of the story is that I joined the United States Marine Corps when I was in my 20's. This was a year before the tragic events of September 11th. I was trained as a Tank Mechanic and stationed in 29 Palms, Ca. In 2002 I deployed to the Middle East in order to invade the sovereign country of Iraq. I participated in the destruction of that country and the death of many of its citizens. At the time I was completely detached from the realities of Karma and the conditioning that had led me to that place. An indoctrination that had begun from childhood. It was not until I came back from a second deployment to Iraq that I really, truly questioned what I was doing in the Marine Corps and what our country was doing to our fellow human beings. This is when I found Buddhism. I was not guilted into this practice, but rather I was searching for something that made sense after so much senselessness.
I was given the book: "At Hell's Gates; A soldier's journey from War to Peace," a book by Claude AnShin Thomas, and I read it in a day. AnShin is a Vietnam Vet that later became a Zen Monk while on his own path of healing. I attended a retreat with AnShin later that year and after doing so, began studying with him and also seeking treatment for my PTSD.

The conditioning that I had experienced in the military, which led me down the path of dehumanization not only of others but of myself as well, has been one of the most difficult things to work with. It brought me anger, rage, frustration, revenge, and a plethora of other "negative" emotions. The fact that I had not identified them or recognized them earlier in my post military life made for some harsh times. It was not until I began to understand, accept and come to grips with these things that I could learn to live in a different relationship with my experiences and transform my life into something meaningful in pursuit of peace.

Now I go back to Los Angeles in order to figure out the next step in life. I will be taking care of some business, attending some appointments with doctors concerning my Traumatic Stress and then returning to South America for a sesshin with my teacher, Claude AnShin Thomas. I look forward to walking in mindfulness and paying attention to the moments between breath and step.

Much Care and Respect,
In Gassho,
St.John

Back to the Basics

In the United States (and other developed nations) we inhabit a dwelling of abundant wealth. Just drive through the winding hills of Los Angeles or stroll through the tree lined roads of Scarsdale, New York. Even with the economy in a depression, there are still many with much more than they need to adequately survive. Yet there are many more without the basics: Food, Shelter and Clothing. Food being the most important. We see abundant amounts of food produced here, enough to feed millions, and yet we throw away nearly 100 Billion pounds of food each year in the US. It is truly frustrating. According to the US Census Bureau, 35.9 million people live below the poverty line in America, including 12.9 million children. This number will inevitably climb given the current economic conditions in the US. So how will we meet this crisis? How will we provide and take care of our fellow human beings? In 2004, requests for emergency food assistance increased by an average of 14 percent during the year, according to a study by the United States Conference of Mayors. Also in this study, it was noted that on average, 20 percent of requests for emergency food assistance went unmet in 2004. Five years later, with more and more people in need, these demands will be even more difficult to meet. According to the US Department of Agriculture, up to one-fifth of America's food goes to waste each year, with an estimated 130 pounds of food per person ending up in landfills. The annual value of this lost food is estimated at around $31 billion But the real story is that roughly 49 million people could have been fed by those lost resources. And these are just the facts about the United States. This story is repeated again and again around the world.

I recently read the article: "Solving the Global Food Crisis: The Case for a "Poverty Czar" by Bruce Friedrich. In it, he discusses the problems of global poverty, the current concern, and the lack of support from the United States, the most wealthy and powerful nation on the planet.
It was disappointing to read that the United States comes in last place among the 22 countries tracked by the Organization for Economic Cooperation and Development.
In fact, the U.S. government spends well under one-quarter of 1 percent of it's gross national income on aid. Friedrich writes: "Most Americans believe that we should spend about 10 times more on aid than we do, and 60 percent of Americans want to triple aid immediately, from about $25 billion to $75 billion."

So how do we relate hunger to the Buddhist practice?

Well, we know that the main cause of hunger or starvation is poverty. If you do not have the means to obtain food, you can not eat. The Dalai Lama once said,

“There can be no peace as long as there is grinding poverty, social injustice, inequality, oppression, environmental degradation, and as long as the weak and small continue to be trodden by the mighty and powerful.”

It has also been said that you must satisfy a man's bodily hunger before you can begin to feed his spiritual hunger.

There are several causes that have led to global poverty being where it is now. Quoting from Friedrich's article: "Last year's Nobel laureate in economics, Paul Krugman, lays out the problem: "Over the past few years the prices of wheat, corn, rice and other basic foodstuffs have doubled or tripled .... High food prices dismay even relatively well-off Americans-but they're truly devastating in poor countries, where food often accounts for more than half a family's spending." And the causes for the price spike? Some of the most important causes Krugman identifies are also the most obvious (and correctable): "the march of the meat-eating Chinese-that is, the growing number of people in emerging economies who are, for the first time, rich enough to start eating like Westerners" and biofuels, because "land used to grow biofuel feedstock is land not available to grow food, so subsidies to biofuels are a major factor in the food crisis."

This reminds me of the Buddhist precept of "non-killing". The global impact of the meat industry has been addressed in several arenas . The impact that it has is a ubiquitous example of the law of karma. Zen Master Seung Sahn addressed this issue when he said,

"...there is much killing of animals for food. There is not so much eating of rice and vegetables, as there is in the Orient. It takes more land to raise animals for meat than it does for raising grains and vegetables. Why are many people starving? This is the result not just of this life, but of causes begun many lifetimes ago. Buddha said, if you want to understand what happened before this life, look at what you are getting now. Being very hungry means that in a previous life, one gave much suffering to other people and animals, and also took food. Today's suffering is the result of those actions."

The meat industry is, by its very nature, an enterprise of murder. And by examining it on an environmental level, we see that it takes far more resources to produce meat than to produce crops. You could feed more people with the grains harvested in farming that you could with the amount of meat raised with that same amount of grain (and I am aware of the quality difference in the grains grown). A study by Cornell University in 1997 showed that you could feed 800 million people with the grain used to feed livestock.

This situation ties into Global Warming as well. These inefficient practices have hugely negative impacts on our environment. Just read the 2006 report by the Livestock, Environment And Development Initiative. The meat industry causes deforestation, habitat destruction, massive water consumption and pollution, energy consumption, disease and climate change. A 2006 study at the University of Chicago concluded that a person switching from a typical American diet to a vegan diet with the same number of calories would prevent the emission of 1485 kg of carbon dioxide. The difference exceeds that of an individual switching from a Toyota Camry to the hybrid Toyota Prius, and collectively amounts to over 6% of the total U.S. greenhouse gas emissions.

So what does this mean in regards to how we solve the hunger crisis? Well, we can start by using responsible practices ourselves. We must change ourselves to effectively change the world. We can donate to food banks, provide meals for the homeless, assist in relief efforts and the like, but I think it may be more important to first realize exactly how we, ourselves, participate and have a relationship with food.

The meal Gatha that I recite before each meal goes like this:

This food is the gift of the whole universe;
the earth, the sky and much hard work.
May we live in a way that makes us worthy to receive it,
May we transform our unskillful states of mind, especially our greed.
May we take only foods which nourish us and prevent illness.
We accept this food so that we may realize the path of practice,
of Love, Compassion and Peace.

In reciting this, I am taking a moment to recognize where the food is coming from, what it has taken to create it, and respecting and being grateful for the fact that I am able to eat it.

In the United States, there is a narrowly inward focus of American Buddhism, which has been pursued to the neglect of the active dimension of Buddhist compassion expressed through programs of social engagement. There are teachers whom have sought to change this in the West, among them Bhikkhu Bodhi and Bernie Glasman. But you don't have to be a Buddhist to practice being socially responsible and socially engaged. Anyone can do this. All mainstream religions teach about helping the poor and less fortunate. It is inherently a part of being a responsible citizen of the world.

Meditate or Mediate?

A recent conversation that took place in regards to the conflict in Gaza.

Michael: Israel must end.

Ines: Amen to that my friend!

ME(St.John): Israel must end? Amen to that?
Thats the ridiculous mentality that got us to where we are today.
I think you need to rethink that with a little more clarity.

Wasim: No way of arguing.. its the burden of killing mass population these bastards will face at some point...

Ines: St.John,what the hell are you talking about??
you think that believing in such a thing is rediculous???i try my best to spread whatever the hell israel is doing in not only gaza but palestine in general and there is no shame in praying for its distruction or saying amen !!!
so pls whatch your tong and where it might lead you you no nothing about my mentality so stop judjing others and try to fixe the situation with wathever you got even if it is a few pictures and a prayer ok??

ME:Ines - I never claimed to "know you" or "your mentality", I simply read what you wrote and responded. Perhaps you are the one whom should "watch your toungue" if you are not sure how to properly convey your thoughts. I disagree with what you wrote and yes I think it is ridiculous to wish the destruction of a nation. Are you a war veteran or refugee? Do you have any Palenstinians or Israelis in your family? If so, you should know better. Praying or hoping for the destruction of anyone or anything is senseless and serves no purpose. The Israeli government has violated just about every UN resolution and killed thousands of innocent people, yes, but the "destruction" of Israel makes no more sense than the destruction of Palestine. Its just reverse discrimination. Why should all Israeli's be held accountable for a corrupt government? I do believe in a one state solution and perhaps I misunderstood the language you used, but to me "destruction" means more violence, and that will solve nothing. Real peace is the only solution. People must learn to get along. There simply is no other way.

Wasim: St.John... well not must, u ARE zionist by ur words. A person comes and murders your mother in front of you, steal all your property and you cannot want proper justice, thats how preposterous you sound. Its a terrorist state we are talking about. You would only speak otherwise as long as you are retarded and israeli and a murderer...

Amen to the destruction of Israel.

Ines: i wont watch my toungue cos i'm not saying anything wrong.
as for my wish of the destruction of israel i'm talking about the false governmant that need to desapear i was never against jews them selves but against zionists,i do believe in living in harmoney between all humanbeings chritiens,jews,muslims...and as for having a family member who is jew or palistinian well i have friends considered as family from both sides and all of them praying for the en of the israelian presence and occupation in palestine...
i'm gonna keep on doing whatever i can cos even if i'm not palestinian they are humanbeings like me so mr cameron sorry but the peace you're asking for will never be accomplished if israel does not stop existing(again talking about the occupation and government)

ME: Wasim - A zionist? lol! That shows how little you know. I come from a family of Palestinians, not Israelis. And if someone murdered my friends or family, etc...I may want revenge, but I also know it will get me/them nowhere. Again, that is the mentality that has nurtured the generational hatred which continues the senseless violence of both the Israelis and Palestinians. I am against Zionist politics and propaganda, but that can not be solved with more violence.
@Ines - Thank you for clarifying. Yes, the occupation must end.

Wasim: St.John - This is the problem with Israel. A two state solution has not worked and will not work. I might know less, I am from Bangladesh, which fought against Pakistan in 1971 and freed itself. Since both the countries are independent, respectable and not criminals like Israel, they did not prolong the violence even after a solution was presented. However Israel's intentions do not even remotely show the evidence in the minutest to actually agree on a violence-less solution and live for peace. Israel is always planning terrorist actions against unarmed people.
However I dont seem to understand your views regarding 'I may want revenge" and "..it will get me/them nowhere" If neutralizing criminals took the justice or situation nowhere, then there would not have been anything called ''Law'' or ''Rights''. Again by your words ur not sure whether you want to avenge your loved ones' murderers. Dont you think the terrorists/Israel would be encouraged to burn more innocent lives to death..if they are not knocked out of the picture? It is not like Israel has not got the time and chance to stay safely with its neighbors. It is a proven fact that Israel is Pure Evil.Look at the figures.. US is funding terrorism for years now, which means a particular president has nothing to do with it... US has most of its presidents as ''just'' ornamental symbols. They definitely do not represent the authority of the government and so on. Even my third-world poor country has better political influences of those who get elected, and the political figures do not just sprout out a year before the elections, rather they are known because of their activities and reputations through years. Its the citizens of the US who have to understand that however proud they are being of their country has little substance and the way the entire system works has to change.

Douglas: The US grew out of a genocide much like the one Israel is attempting to grow out of. If we all agree that we are against Zionism as a policy/politic/movement, then we all agree that Israel as a State should not exist. If Jews want to live in a land that they claim they have historical ties to that is fine but they have to accept the fact that they cannot be in political and economic control of a land that has belonged to someone else for thousands of years (the Palestinians). You cannot simply plant yourself in someone else's country and call it your own, period. So really, if you are against Zionism, you are FOR the destruction of the Israeli State because the only thing Zionism does is call for the ESTABLISHMENT of an Israeli state, the protection of it, and as we all have realized by now, the expansion of it. So the answer is YES, Israel MUST END, not just the occupation, but the existence of Israel as well. Not the existence of Jews, just the existence of Israelis.And when I say that the existence of Israelis must end, I do not mean the death of all of them either. What I mean is that if you end the existence of Israel, there will no longer be civilians called "Israelis" because they will become Palestinians. Hopefully it won't take very much violence to get to this point, but if it does take violence to reach a point where all of the land in that area is once again restored to Palestine (even prior to the UN Partition in '48) than the Palestinians have every right to win the war and expel the Israelis. By any means necessary.

Jane: Very eloquently put, Douglas

ME: Violence is never eloquent.

Douglas: You obviously didn't understand what I said. "hopefully it won't take very much violence to get to this point, but" . . . I have no bloodlust, but often times history has proven that violence can be necessary. The Palestinians may not want to attack or hurt Israelis to achieve the goal of getting their land back, but the Israelis will not give it up because the people in power in Israel are already violent. Do you think you can reason with people who are genocidal and violent, St.John? As a matter of fact, since you think peace is such a viable option and you probably are so liberal you think that violence is "never necessary" then why don't you be our spokesperson. You are against Zionism. Go reason with them, tell them why they shouldn't try to expand and profit off of land speculation and development of other peoples land. Tell them to stop and to cease existing in their priveleged position as members of the State of Israel. I'm sure they will probably laugh at you.
Every human being has an inalienable right to self defense. No human being has the right to aggression. The zionist State of Israel is aggressive and that is why it is perfectly OK for supporters of that aggression to be killed in defense.A fight that is fought for the right reason is honorable. A fight that is honorable has the potential to be spoken of eloquently. That is why Palestine is the shining light of hope for every oppressed and colonized nation in the world. There is something eloquent about a boy who refuses to let them beat him despite the fact that his mother and father were killed before he was even a teenager. There is something eloquent in his defiance that is emblematic in his throwing a rock at a tank. His determination and his desperation is an eloquent argument against imperialism and colonialism everywhere and if his fight inspires eloquence in others it is valid no matter how many people that boy goes on to kill when he gets his hands on something more effective than a rock.

ME: I never said violence is never necessary. Do you think that Gandhi would have accomplished anything by fighting? Has the fighting in Palestine accomplished any peace in the past? No. Violence begets violence. As the Buddha said: "Victory creates hatred. Defeat creates suffering. The wise ones desire neither victory nor defeat... Anger creates anger... He who kills will be killed. He who wins will be defeated... Revenge can only be overcome by abandoning revenge... The wise seek neither victory nor defeat."

Working Meditaiton

When I was first introduced to the practice of working meditation, it felt foreign to me. My four years in the United States Marine Corps had taught me to use work as a time to plan things out, day dream about women, question what I was doing or any number of things other than to focus precisely on the moment and what I was doing.

Now, I find pleasure in things like yard work, washing dishes, working on a car or taking care of whatever task needs to be accomplished.

Working meditation allows me to be grateful that I am physically able to take on these tasks, and to connect myself to the fact that such things must be done in order for sentient beings to prosper.

Another form of working meditation of course, is working with people, particularly those with differing viewpoints. I am finding myself more involved with the Israel-Palenstine conflict, and commentating on various sites about solutions to the chaos and violence. I have certainly come across people whose viewpoints differ from mine, and tried to reason with them and perhaps shed light unto their thought process. This can be hard when my initial reaction is to tell someone that they do not know what they are talking about, or that their viewpoint is irrational or even "stupid". I will try and post some of these here for review.

Be well.

...peace is the way.

The recent tensions and war in between Israel and Palestine have caused tensions even in my home. This is of course unusual because no one in my family is either Israeli, Jewish, Palestinian or Muslim. Yet my step father and myself hold completely differing views on the situation.

My belief is that peace, compassion and understanding, not war, is the only solution to the crisis. That weapons must be put down, anger, aggression, revenge, and all related actions must be cast aside and peaceful co-existing must be nurtured. Too much effort is put into division, and therefore generational learned hatred is fostered in the minds of the young, whom wait for their chance to take up arms against their perceived enemies.

My step-father, a Chilean by birth , whom served under Pinochet in the Chilean military, believes that Israel must "bomb the Arabs to extinction". This is obviously an ignorant and naive statement. Violence only begets perpetual violence I tell him, to which he replies, "If you kill all them, there wont be any more violence". An interesting justification at best.

Having served in the military myself, and served under-fire in a combat zone, I know first hand that violence is not a means to an end. Violence is simply an ignorant reaction to a situation that needs to be handled tenderly and with open minds and open hearts. Encouraging understanding, compassion, and peace on a generational level, stamping out hatred, superiority, and self preservation -- that is the only way. As it is said, there is no way to peace, peace is the way.

The knowledge . . . Recycled.

A curious observation of the Buddhist practice will reveal a massive amount of texts, videos, podcasts, websites, blogs, etc... on the topic of Buddhism and how to practice. How many books have been written on the Buddha, Anger, Meditation, Love, Understanding, Peace? Several hundreds of course, yet these books continue to be published in great numbers and people continue to buy them.

I ask myself "How many times can you write the same thing over and over again?"

The foundations of this practice are actually very simple and few, yet there is a virtual cornacopia of books, videos, etc, on the subject matter. I realize that a certain text may speak more clearly to a person than a similar text written by someone else. I personally love books, and therefore love books on Buddhism and related topics. I am even slowly working on my own memoir, which I ask myself "who would want to read about me or my experience"? But who knows? Someone may click with another persons personal story and see something within themselves that they can change to create a better life. That is what happened to me.

Borders Books has closed some stores and I am sure that several more book stores are going to close given the current state of the economy. So take advantage of this and see if you can find something that speaks to you, or even better, a gift for someone else.

In the South Land

Welcome to Seclusion, South America. Population 3.

A few months ago I decided to take a break from the high pressure and fast paced life of Los Angeles, California and retreat to Chile, South America.

At this point in life I am working with “non-attachment” and trying to let go of the idea of searching for the “right things”. I seem to have been caught up in the fantasy that people are able to find their own happiness in the arms of another, or from external objects and material posessions. A common misconception. Indeed quite the opposite is true. True happiness, of course, comes from within. Accepting and loving oneself is the only way to truly begin to love others or escape materialism. If we are not able to accept who we are, we will never be able to truly accept another person.

As Swami Rudrananda said, “Don’t look for perfection in me, I want to acknowledge my own imperfection…” for it is through personal acceptance that we are able to find true love.

Love that is not just another 4-letter word.

A major part of my choice to come to South America was to go on my own spiritual pilgrimage/retreat. I felt I needed to seclude myself. Having been conditioned my western society to believe that I must constantly be entertained and occupied with distractions in order to be happy is a problem I am trying to overcome. This has been an extremely difficult conditioning to work with. It is challenging to face “boredom” and to work with[out] preoccupation. I now use my “free time” to meditate, reflect and look inward for answers and “somethingness” instead of looking to the outside world to fill my mind with senseless ideas about what will complete me or make me content.
Most people don’t realize how much they are entangled in the web of distractions in modern life. I feel that human condition has metamorphosed into consumerism. The bane of man’s existence. Western society is in a comatose state because of it, and it has contributed greatly to the demise of relationships of family and community. The very “sangha” that used to provide great support has virtually evaporated in the sunshine of the great materialistic beast. - Los Angeles is a shining example. - The old saying “it takes a village” is hardly true anymore. Communities are so separated and segregated that it’s hard to believe a “village” in the modern west would band together for anything productive unless they awaken from this coma.

But there is hope.
Beyond all of the wages of waste, the stars still shine brightly and the universe is still as wonderful and mysterious as it ever was, and there are beings who are on a simple quest to find answers by finding themselves.
This practice intrigues people to open their eyes to the possibilities that we can live in a different relationship with the world around us. A place where we escape our own unhappiness and insecurities by finding flaws in others, or trying to purchase our way to a better life. Humans are deciding that perhaps they can take matters into your their own hands and learn to live in a different relationship with their attachments, desires, ideas of right and wrong and success and failure. A few phrases come to mind:

“The happiness of others is indeed our own happiness.”
“We are not separate from one another.”
“I am the Buddha’s, and they are me.”